Greetings from Mae Sae

As you may recall, the Letter from Laos used to start and end with a diatribe with just a general rant in between. Now I am not promising to turn over a new leaf with a new Blog, but for once let me start on a positive note.

Anyone travelling to Northern Thailand and heading to or from the Lao border should check this address;

 www.chiang-khong-guesthouse.com

  That is where I stayed for 4 nights and to where I shall be returning before too long. It is idyllic (apart from the Lao music from across the river, sometimes until 2am), the staff are lovely and it is so cheap. It is not luxury, but it has all anyone needs, including excellent WIFI. More of my stay there follows later.

I started last week with the observation that I was not a natural traveller. Confirmation of that fact occurred when I wondered why my bags were so heavy. On checking, it did occur to me that I might be the only traveller in these parts who, amongst other items, had packed the following

1. Large jar of Marmite (half full)

2. Two heavy cricket sweaters

3. Two fleece jackets

4. An 800 page biography of Rudolf Nureyev (hard back)

5. The 1963 edition of Wisden Cricketers’ Almanac (900 pages)

6. “Scores and results” of Sussex County cricket Club 1728/1957.

7. The 1948 ‘Playfair Cricket Annual’

Several of the above, and other sundry items have been left for safe-keeping at the above mentioned Guest House. This means that my goods and chattels are now distributed among at least 6 places, and soon to become 7. I say ‘at least’ because that figure does not include various pawn shops, money lenders and private homes where property stolen from me currently resides. Of all the losses it is the camera that galls me most, and the loss of the ceiling fan which is most intriguing, since some effort had to go into unscrewing it and its resale value must have been pretty small.  It is probably as well that the vacuum cleaner was stolen or I might have packed it for my travels.

The GH owner was able to clarify for me something that had puzzled me for some while….why the Hmong people, who hail originally from China, use the Western alphabet rather than Chinese or Lao or Thai script. Apparently, during their many travels they ‘lost’ their own written language and it was Christian Missionaries who, with their usual cultural sensitivity, transcribed the spoken language into the only written language that they knew. She also recalled how as a child she had been targetted by missionaries and been given a copy of ‘the book’. But being a good Buddhist girl she was deeply shocked by the story that a child had been conceived out of wedlock, and returned ‘the book’, regarding Christianity as an encouragement of sinful behavior.  A novel take on Christianity.

I have heard the Leo people on the subject of Thais before, but I had not previously heard the reverse account, and it is even less flattering. It seems that ‘all’ Leo people are lazy and drunk and often unable to go to work because of the previous night’s excesses. I did briefly recall my builders, but thought it best to assure people that this view was a little sweeping and unfair.

There were no truly dreadful people at the Guest House, even though if  might go onto one of my usual subjects, I find odd that the backpackers are still abed at 10 and 11 am, having stayed up most of the night to drink and play cards. Surely it must be cheaper and more convenient to do that at home?  They missed the sunrise over the Mekong, which occurred just before 7am. I have seen the sunset over the Mekong many times, but I cannot recall seeing it rise before.  It was fascinating how its reflection starts out as a vivid red, changes to orange, and then yellow, before diffusing into silver. All in the space of about 40 minutes.  I suppose the sun has been doing that for at least all of the 65 years that I have been around, and maybe even longer; it has taken me that long to notice. Oh well, better late than never.

There was a French girl there who spoke excellent…perfect indeed, English. But I think she must have been taught it in a convent or by an elderly governess as she had no understanding whatsoever of any idiomatic English, which slowed the conversation down to snail’s pace.  I had not previously been aware of just how much we use idiomatic, rather than textbook speech.

As I write this I am having my first glass of wine in 5 days, not that I expect anyone to believe that. I bought it at my second attempt in Tesco Lotus. Wine here is much dearer than in Laos, and there are odd licensing laws that permit you to buy alcohol between 11am and 2pm and 5 and 8pm. I suspect that like most laws designed to curb drinking it has the reverse effect and encourages stockpiling…well, it does with me anyway! It is not a great wine and I am drinking it out of a brandy glass, but being a wine snob is one sin I can plead not guilty to.

We went out to dinner last night and we were joined by another guest, a young man from Bangkok who was making his first visit 'oop north'.  He had obviously expecting it to be like Iceland or Alaska since he sat all night wrapped in a fleece lined overcoat, whilst the rest of us were in short sleeved shirts. ( My having discarded a fleece and cricket sweater earlier.) He was detirmined to be sociable and use all the English he knew. But sadly I could only make out the words, 'pizza, football, bus, mushroom, Lao and Chiang Rai’. It felt as though I had been signed up for a 1980s TV panel game   (under the Chairmanship of Lionel Blair, of course) where you were given 6 random words and had to invent a credible story.

 It is in fact a little cooler in the mornings here than in Luang Prabang.

When we got home the statutory comedy drunk arrived and invited me to the funeral party down the road. It seems that they were a bit short of card players, and clearly a farang who did not know the rules would make an excellent addition to the table. The funeral itself is tomorrow, the old boy having been in his box in the sitting room for 4 days now. I am unsure whether my attendance is expected. The funeral might have one pleasant spin off. Usually the day starts here about 6.45am with a loud crackling noise followed by some pop music, and then we hear a megalomaniac (aka the village head man) behind a microphone giving his take on today’s news…..or he may be reading out the telephone directory for all I know. This has not happened yet, and I am guessing that it might be out of respect for the deceased; or maybe someone just pulled the plug out one day.

On the bus here I noticed an odd thing, which I shall explore further. I sat towards the front of the bus and after a while noticed that appeared to be no other men on the bus. In fact there were, but they all sat at the back. I was in the only man in the girly seats at the front, although as an obviously  ignorant tourist I don’t suppose this caused too much offence. But I wonder if that is usual, or was just a one off.

I am assured that the new bridge over the Mekong just below Chiang Khong/Houxai will be finished this year. I can only say that that seems as improbable as London being ready for the 2013 Olympic Games. It is being built in a tripartite arrangement between Thailand, Laos and China and one delay was caused when the Chinese insisted on importing an all Chinese labour force and the Thais told them to bugger off, which caused a bit of a hiatus.

 I think that we can assume the following…

1.       The Thai element will be finished more or less to time and done with reasonable competence

2.       The Chinese element will be built to time, but will be soon washed away by the river as the engineers will have sold off most of the cement and used sand instead.

3.       The Lao element will neither be finished to time, nor will it quite meet up in the right place, and a ferry will be required to transport travellers between the Lao and other sections. (The contract for which will be let to a senior member of The Party).

On which note I bid you adieu; the next exciting installment of the blog comes from ‘somewhere in Thailand’…..

ALAN